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I have loved two things in this life. Both of which i still do and both of which I'm denied. Has any "no" hurt worse then when youre told you can't be with someone, when that's all either of you want. It arrests your feelings. Assaults your thoughts. The days are long. Nights longer. The world has become a cell that you restlessly pace in, counting hours, minutes, seconds down to execution. But death would be sweeter then the words youre waiting to hear. The "Ive moved on" or "we can't".

Then the other thing you love is actually killing you. Sweetly, softly, and you yearn for it maddeningly. It distorts what is real, makes the suffering enjoyable. Like all this around me is doable as long as your around with me. And then it's gone too. And with it went all your feigned, ignorant, bliss. Then you notice youre dying. A withering, weak, husk of wasted skin. All of you corrupt and vile and evil and its sad because at this point, you just don't care.

If this is my forever, then what a waste of time.

COMMENTS

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Lethargy
04:05 May 01 2015

...I know exactly what you mean in the second portion of this post. All too well. Ugh.

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